TW: Discussions of mental health, anxiety.
University is a big step no matter what walk of life you have come from. Moving out, missing home, cooking for yourself, and learning to be independent are all things which may either terrify you or excite you. But no matter what your emotions are, it would be very unusual not to feel some sorts of nerves.
Almost everyone I knew from school had some concerns going to university. How would they manage alone? Would they miss their parents the entire time? Would they be able to cook? Mostly, will they cope with a whole new social life, away from the ones they have grown up with, or will they never find their footing? I honestly believe you’re lying if you didn’t think about these things before joining university.
The answer to all these questions are, that despite taking a different amount of time for everyone, you will find your place at university. It will help you to learn more about yourself, and you’ll find going home that you’ve grown up a lot, and see differences in yourself that others will also notice.
I didn’t find everything instantly clicked into place (as I was told it would in school). It was a longer journey than that, but the process was one I couldn’t put my finger on. After the first term, I just realised that I had found my place, without knowing it, and I was content to spend my next few years like this. I know others who it took longer for, maybe until the end of term two. I know others who it took a lot less time to feel they found their niche, maybe under two weeks. The most important thing is to know, whether you feel comfortable or uneasy, so many others are feeling the same.
Every term since I have felt more and more at home. It’s a journey and there have been ups and downs, but I truly believe the last term I spent at university (so far) was the best one yet.
If you’ve had friends or family at university, they are likely to give you advice. The most important thing to remember is that every single person’s experience is different, and therefore, take every piece of advice with a pinch of salt.
Get involved as much as and as soon as possible.
The first few weeks of university are important. It’s great if you have something you’ve always done and can carry on through a society, like dancing or playing an instrument. Join groups you’ve been a part of back home, and make sure to have something to do other than your degree. Not only will this help now, by allowing you to branch out and make friends, but it will help you if you feel overwhelmed with your degree, to have some time out and something to look forward to.
If you haven’t got a hobby yet, join as many societies or sports club as you can to find your place. Most societies are incredibly welcoming and will be searching for new members of their community. Enjoy the free society events and find your place with new groups of people.
Be open-minded.
All of the freshers are in the same position. Be friendly, understanding and above all keep an open mind. Don’t shut people off just because they’re not similar to your old crowd. It’s also really nice to have friends from different courses, different walks of life and different ages. By joining various societies, you’ll open up your mind to new people, new potential soulmates.
You are never alone in attempting to make friends. Social media can be a horrible place when you’re feeling lonely, but just remember it is only an aspect of other people’s lives, and their ‘uni bestie’ may just be a mirage. Do not feel pressured by social media – everyone’s experiences are different and everyone only posts the best days.
Overcome your fears.
Whether you’re used to getting involved or not, the first couple of weeks can be awkward. I met several of my best friends on my course by bumping into them at events and scheduling coffees or drinks despite never having a full conversation with them before.
Friendships take time. Think of how long you have been really good friends with your school group of friends – it didn’t happen overnight. It takes more than a week to solidify friendships – try not to be disheartened if you don’t immediately bond with your flatmates or course mates. You will definitely find the group that you want to spend time with, it may just seem to take you longer than others (but sooo many are in the same boat as you!).
Try to relax and enjoy the process.
At the end of the day, this is an incredibly exciting experience. No matter who you are or where you’re from, this is the chance to make yourself proud, and enjoy your next few years. Make yourself into the person that you feel happy about, and if there are some bumps in the road, just know that thousands of other people have been there before you, and they overcame it, just like you will.
---- Mary Collingridge, Women's Officer
