TW: Imposter syndrome; depression; anxiety; mental illness.
Dealing with a lack of confidence is something most of us can relate to at some point or another, however for some of us, these feelings can manifest themselves into what is known as ‘imposter syndrome’. Imposter syndrome can be characterised as feelings of self doubt, fraudulence or a lack of belonging which can lead to the individual overcompensating and imposing pressure onto themselves to feel as though they have truly earned their success. As a result, it is not uncommon for imposter syndrome to be closely linked to anxiety and depression as it takes a toll on someone’s mental health. It can take some time to recognise feelings of imposter syndrome and unlearn the unhealthy thought patterns that surround it.
I first recognised that this was having an impact on my life during my GCSEs. These were the first formal set of exams I had ever taken and at the time they felt incredibly important to me. Upon opening my results, instead of feeling happy or proud of what I had achieved I immediately asked my parents to call the school. These results must be someone else’s. I had exceeded my targets in all of my subjects and therefore there must have been a mistake. I had not earned these results and I was not good enough to achieve them. Or so I thought. I went as far as to speak to the exams officer at my school and asked him to check my candidate number before I could even begin to process anything. I couldn’t feel proud or relieved or even excited about the next step in my education because I was too busy feeling like a fraud. As time went on, I found it difficult to put myself out there and apply for further opportunities, and when I did, I continuously felt as though I didn’t deserve to be there. Retraining my brain to disregard these negative thought patterns has massively reduced my anxiety and boosted my self esteem as it has enabled me to feel proud of myself and try things that I never would have thought I could do before.
With this in mind, these are the best things that I found helped me to find more self belief and reduce feelings of imposter syndrome:
Know your worth- This is so much easier said than done. But the key for me was not attaching my worth to results. Be proud of yourself for doing your best or overcoming a personal barrier. Success doesn't only have to be measured by academic results and I felt my anxiety significantly reduce once I stopped confusing the two to be the same thing.
Stop comparing yourself to other people- One of the major barriers for me was constantly comparing myself to other people who I perceived to be much more important than me. One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received was being told “don’t mistake confidence for competence”. Just because someone has the loudest voice or the most to say, doesn’t mean they are any more qualified to speak on something than you. I have learned that ability, leadership and talent can be measured in so many different ways and they do not have a one size fits all approach.
Be part of the change- The term imposter syndrome can’t account for all of the barriers that are in place outside of individual feelings of self doubt. We need to create a space where everyone is given an equal opportunity to access their full potential without the external barriers of systemic racism, heteronormativity, sexism or any other hierarchical structure preventing us. Feelings of imposter syndrome may be closely linked to the fact that it can be hard to find images of leadership or success that represent the diverse culture we now live in and this lack of representation can be a major contributor to feeling as though you don’t belong. It’s important not to hold yourself accountable for the systems in place against you, but do play your part to change them. Know that these systems of oppression are not a reflection of your personal ability and that whilst you cannot control the power structures at play, you can control your response to them and prevent them from becoming internalised.
Creating a sense of self worth and self belief can be difficult, especially in places where there is not a great representation of diversity within leadership. However, knowing your worth and what you bring to the table can go a long way and it’s important to remember this when you go into something you are nervous about. Rather than focusing on all of the things you lack, try to create a sense of confidence by thinking of the things you’re good at and focusing on what you bring to the table. For those of you who enjoyed Love Island this year, in the words of Chloe: you are the table!
---- Pip Allen, Guest Blogger
