TW: Anxiety, discussions of mental disorder.
A large part of anxiety is attaching fear to a person or place or situation. Whenever you face that person or place or situation you revisit that fear. This has made me feel weak in the past, but so many people feel the same in numerous experiences. So, how can this change?
Knowing when to do it
Only you can ever really understand what you’re going through. It’s not always rational and therefore it can be hard for other people to understand. Listen to yourself. If today isn’t the day that you want to face this anxiety, don’t do it. Don’t push yourself to do something because it can feel like a failure if you don’t then succeed.
One day, you’ll wake up and know you feel strong enough to conquer your anxiety, but no one else can, or should, decide that for you.
Small steps
If you have a fear of a place, go to it with someone you trust, during the day when it feels less scary. Often, night time can amplify anxiety, as there is nothing else to distract us; you might find that going in the daylight makes the fear seem less.
If you’re worried about seeing someone, try to control when you do. If you’re in control you’ll feel better about it, as you can better anticipate it, and it won’t be as unexpected. Again, seeing them during the day when you’re out and about with someone you trust is less likely to make you feel as scared as seeing them whilst scrolling through social media at night.
If you have a fear of a situation, try and get into this situation when you feel confident with the people you are with. If this is impossible, try and pick apart the situation: think of what you’re actually anxious about, how you can control this, and whether one bad situation should define the experience as a whole for your future. How likely is it to happen again in the same situation? Was it really as bad as you felt it was, or was it your mind telling you it was?
Knowing when to let go
Sometimes, there are reasons that you are anxious when seeing people or getting into a type of situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. Sometimes it does more harm than good to face these anxieties.
Finishing school or university is a really good time to let these people out of your life. It doesn’t create a big scene, seems more natural than at other times and is a good time to move on with your life. If you are stuck constantly worrying about certain people or uncomfortable situations, there may be a very good reason for this. If you know it stems from a true fear, not irrational anxiety, it is just as strong to put this behind you. This is never a weak thing to do.
No matter what anxiety you want to face:
· You are stronger than you think
· You know what’s right for you
· No one can fault you for doing what is best for you
· The time is right when you think it is right
Remember it’s your life and if you don’t want to be anxious anticipating that situation forever, you do not have to be.
---- Mary Collngridge (Women's Officer)
